My first introduction to this project included 60 other performers at Berlin's Tanznacht Festival, in Dec. 2008. The rule was of play were to acquiesce oneself wholly/holy in symmetrical movement for half an hour.
The strict adherence to purely symmetrical movement, for me, fluctuates between feeling very oppressive, then, somehow, very liberating. The body knows cross diagonal movements. Our arms and are familiar with corners, our legs seek new avenues because our brains are wired to continually learn. But when faced with a severely clear task, there is the possibility for liberation...I know where to go, I know what is expected of me, which cuts through the rather large burden of thinking; and I know that within structure there are infinite choices.
So, half an hour felt quite long when in it. It was a like a form of prayer.... or Hurricane. Or a praying Hurricane.
The second invitation was with 5 other performers at Berlin's Lange Nacht den Opern und Theatre, this past weekend, April 25th, 2009.
This time only symmetrical movement for four hours.
Completely honored and completely exhausted, I've discovered this kind of performing is not the kind that you feel great about after. In four hours you can go thru quite a bit more of your “shadows” based on such duration. You have additional time to feel where you are failing, and succeeding, to sense the audience, the space and how they change, to mine thru some very hard moments, and very liberating ones. This duration of four hours...
utterly challenged me and I believe I am still altered from it. I recall one particular, very surreal experience while unrobing in the parking lot, and re-robing, in front of several men. This moment stood out to me, because we were with each other on 2 very different sides of the fence for quite a while..me being in a state that allowed me to go somewhere dark and frightening, publicly humiliating and simultaneously empowering, yet stuck in one place (because walking is not symmetrical). The men were on the other side; they had the choice to leave, to divert eyes, to stare me down as one did. They could seduce me as much as I could seduce them. And not just sexually). There was a found power and vulnerability there. There was an entire story, actually several stories, in these moments that built in our time together. A story that travelled the gamet of gender policies, politics and sexuality. In the end, they were like the instant friends strangers become when they survive something together. I felt a kinship with several anonymous beings. This extends my sense of humanity, an after effect of this work.
I haven't been back to the space, at Tanzfabrik in Kreuzberg, but I will wonder if I can, without bias, sense if the space we inhabited is also still altered. There has been a lot of wind, so maybe all those spiraling ions have swept up after our mess.
My seethings from the long night:
Images in mid-position creating and contributing to the duality of our associations.
Guided by intuition and imagination, a practice in magic; altering the world within,
simultaneously altering the world without.
Magic exists as much as magic is believed in.
Spending energy and watching what energy returns, how it has morphed, what it has experienced.
The inescapable duets with audience members thru eye contact, and severe body communication on multiple psychic levels.
What is it to be deliberate? Where are we powerful in choice making, and where are we better off letting moments live us?
The rewards of listening.
The defeat of not listening.
The magic of a misunderstanding!
Trance is possible in performance.
I am in love with surprises!
Absorption, of any kind, reduces our separation.
My body has felt this;
skin yoked with night air,
howling prayers
the mending of silence,
the shattering brilliance of laughter
falling from the edge of giving!
